Catch up on the story so far here:
In one sense an update on this story seems to be long overdue. It’s some months since I last posted about it, and I feel like I owe you some news. In another sense, however, there’s been little to report. There was the initial flurry of thoughts and feelings reflected in the original posts – and then there was little we could do.
First there was our sabbatical – three months abroad – during which the desire for and conviction that we should foster took root and became established as something deeper than a whim. It felt like something right. Obviously whilst away for three months there was little we could do about it. We also needed to address our living arrangements – our previous house had no spare space on it, and for a while we had no idea where we’d be moving to so we couldn’t make any plans. Then, in what felt like something of a rush, we’d moved house to somewhere bigger. Objectively we’d acknowledged to ourselves that fostering could now be front and centre of our agenda, but we did little about it.
Hence the lack of updates. It’s hard to update when there’s little to say. Then, a couple of speculative conversations last week later, and we find ourselves with some concrete possibilities. Actual children we need to think about. We find ourselves in a space where we need to discern whether to move forward with discussions about this child. Suddenly the future has a possible face and name.
It feels strange to have moved from the conscious disempowerment of which I spoke in a previous post to a position of unmerited power: is this child going to be part of our future, for however long? Even with speculative conversations it feels a little cruel, even though at this stages the children concerned know nothing of even the possibility. We’re talking about talking, and even at this stage it feels like one almighty responsiblity. We don’t know how long this phase will last, how many of these possibilities we’ll weigh up until we move further forward. But we have moved forward, and the future is more tangible.
I’ll post more as and when I’m able to in this public forum.